"Excuse Me While I Whip This Out"

I have had my head in the toilet for the last two months. I cannot even tell ya the last time I blogged. Life is rather boring over here, with the vomiting and all. Makes one rather immobile.

I am, however, ultimately thrilled about John Kerry's success. I thought about Dean for a while, but my heart was with Kerry. I figured that he would never achieve, though, I am one of the democrats that want G2B2 evicted from his stolen property that I will support whomever recieves the nomination. BAM! Kerry moved 10 points in a week, and now, with just over 24 hours to go, it looks as though NH will be another triumph. However, he now has moved to a 49% general rating over Bush's 46%!!!!!!

Carolina will take some doing. Edwards has that southerner thing going...he reminds me so much of Clinton....don't get me wrong, I like his charisma, but not for this job, not now. I also find it hard to swallow that he is campaigning to come in second again in this caucus.

Ummm....dude...why campaign for 2nd fucking place? Are you sure that you're setting your sights low enough? Come on! You are trying to get the democratic nom, right? How about we....oh, I don't know....shoot for a win????!!!???

I see that some fo my friends are campaigning for Clark. He was on Meet the Press this morning. Ugh. I cannot stomach him. I find him weak. For example, when TR asked him about the right to choose, a HUGE issue with me, he began to stutter."Um, well, Tim, well,....uh...that's a choice that all women stuggle with." Not resoundingly pro-choice to me. I want someone that is going to say, "Women have the right to choose what lives and breathes in their uterus." TR kept pressing him about his own personal view on the matter, and it took three tries fore him to stutter through a slightly expanded explanation. Nope. I need a little force. At least I knew Clinton could slap a little ass and get the job done.

Dean himself frightens me. I see him as out of control (at moments). You have to keep your cool to be the Pres, don't you think? I think that's one of the issues with G2D2, is that he says whatever botched sentence is traveling through his brain. I am sure it's like a game of telephone, Cheney wispers something in his ear, like "....these are the downfall of the American economey", and it rattles around again and again, until what you get is, "Peas are my down comforter when faced with ebony".

...And that, my child, is how Bushisms are born.

A Note About the Piss...

The founder and author of Dancin Shiva would like to take this opportunity to note that any comments expressed on this blog do not, in fact, target, any real or imaginary readers. All direct pot shots are taken for the sole purpose of venting about, or laughing at, people that do not read Dancin Shiva, or do not read at all. Any humiliation or gulit felt on the part of the reader is the sole liability of the reader. The author of Dancin Shiva is not responsible for any shame, disfunctional relationship, cross dressing, or increased masturbation that may peak after reading this blog.

Round 2

A red beaded candle stick.....a remote control......17 pillows......um......my sleeping daughter.......(clock ticking)....one of my cats trying to hump his brother (ewwwW)......red walls.....

- Things you'll find in my bedroom

Drama-Rama Ding Dong

I have found lately that I have a new intolerance....dramafiends. Look, I am not saying that my life has ever been calm before now. But, looking back, and perhaps I am deluding myself, although my life was "interesting" in a minute-by-minute sort of way, I didn't think I was addicted to drama.


I live in a house. In the burbs. I have a yard. Neighbors on both sides. We all mow our yards, and there is never any trash to be found in our neighborhood. No one breaks in to our cars or houses. Some moms stay home. Must of us work, at least part-time. We take our kids to the park down the street. The kids love to ride their scooters. Everyone waves. I have a dog. Three cats. My house is almost always clean. My daughter does not go to public school. She goes to Girl Scouts, spanish classes, and basketball practice. It's very suburban. It could be boring....if you let it.

But, I don't. I like my almost picture-perfect surroundings. I like making dinner and serving the hub some apps and beer before dinner. I love attacking him with a quickie the moment he tries to towel off from his shower, and then refilling his coffeecup for a job well done! My life is certainly more simple than ever, but not boring. I can see how some might think it would be, or that it couldn't be anything else.

And, maybe that's why people are dramatic. A yearning, maybe? I yearn as much as the next guy....wait...I yearn, but maybe not as much.

Well, I hate to tell you, my friend, but you are not Tony Soprano's mother. You didn't send anyone to kill anyone. People that are really bad...they never fuckin' say a word about it. My friend, you might be a housewife, or a salesman, or a secretary, but whatever it is that you are, cope with it. It's ok to just be a _________/whatever. Most of us are. You are probably not the next Hemingway or Baker or Hilton, and I don't know why more people aren't ok with that. I am not advising anyone to give up on their personal goals and dreams, but my god....

I suppose this rant is about my own frustration. I am sick to death of watching people wallow, with smiles and frowns alike, in the abyss of their self-created and manifested craptacular illusions. What compounds my hatred for the scenario, is the utter inability to change, or even conceive a thought of change. Please, stop laying in your own piss- it gets chilly after about five seconds.

My New Favorite Game!!!!

Recently, I have discovered a new sick hobby to pass any length of time imaginable. It's the $100,000 pyramid game.....remember, with Dick Clark. Here's an example.....

- You couldn't find me with both hands........um....I think this dress makes me look fat.....I am juicy!......um....(clock ticking).....you don't know me from a hole in the ground.....

(My response:) ...things my pretty, pretty ass would say??????

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Try it....you'll like it!

Now that my posts are appearing again...

...I shall blog.

My daughter had her first basketball game yesterday, as well as her first sleepover. I would be thrilled to have a son, but I am so glad M is a girl. Watching the two girls....was hilarious and heartwarming!

The girls put on lipstick and M admired her friend, "Oh, that just looks great on you!" They ran around in their frilly PJ's, with the hub making them popcorn and assembling the Easy Bake Oven. He ran out to get the girls pizza and a movie, while the three of us made a yellow (easy bake) cake and chocolate icing. Woohoo!




New Year's Update:

We slept. And slept. I think this baby is putting me in a coma. I woke up around 12, to the sound of firecrackers out my window. After a couple of minutes, I was grumpy, and headed for a peek to mumble about how "enough is enough". I was not prepared. A neighbor of mine across the street was lighting fireWORKS. Like a slightly smaller display than one would find at the arch, but these were not bottle rockets! It was magnificent to look out my front window and let my eyes sleepy twinkle. The fireworks lasted about 15 minutes. I don't know how they got away with it, but damn! How many times in your life will such a thing happen?

We did do one really cool thing on NYE. We all made pictures of things that we hoped for in 2004. Then, we hung them in the wall of my kitchen, near the breakfast table. Everyone came to visit on the first, so we had them make a picture, too! My wall is now covered with hopes and wishes of loved ones. I have decided that I will save them, and when a hope or wish materializes, I will return it to them. As for us, I will save ours and place them on the wall a year from now, for a good look back. I am so cool.

testing...again