Mother-In-Law

My mother-in-law (to-be) will be arriving at my home in just a few short hours. C has been a doll, helping me clean and prepare. I am so blessed to have such a man.

I realize that I have the awsome responsibility of her first son's happiness and care. I love C's mom to death, but I am also quite aware that she is a mother. As am I. Thus, I realize that I would be looking through discriminatory eyes at the home my child shared with their mate.

So, I really wanted the house to smell good, but not like any cleaners or disinfectants. My thought being that she might think, "Oh. Maybe this house was a filthy mess until 5 hours ago, and she is so tired because she spent the afternoon in a cleaning frenzy to cover it up. How nice that she took the time to dust the rat droppings off of the kitchen table!"

I also relayed to C that he was not allowed to let his parents know that he had assisted in the preparation. Not because I am a lazy pig that wants all of the glory- as though like I didn't spend about 4 hours yesterday working on it myself, including "his areas".... I was worried she would then think, "She only works part-time, and she just now tacked the house, yet she couldn't even manage to do it herself? Hurry home, son! Let's save you from that evil harpy!"

Whew. I am warped.

Ugh

I just heard the sound. The one that has turned me into some Pavlovian stay-at-home mother. The laundry buzzer.

I will take a moment to vent and blew my hateful sputum. So, I went to the gym Monday. Good, right? Not so good. I climbed 600 steps (according to my stairmaster) before I even got there. Another 20 minutes jogging on the treadmill, and worked my arms- that's my Monday circuit. Only to find out I am a whopping 130lbs, and I cannot remember my body fat percentage, now!Damn. By the way, some website said that is the perfect "healthy weight" for someone of my stature. I guess they haven't seen my abundantly healthy ass... If I could just drop about 8-10 lbs. within the next month- a perfectly healthy rate to lose weight, btw....

Now I must decide what to do....I can watch the Redneck Comedy tour, or Bowling for Columbine. Hmmmm....either seems a delightful choice! While I am watching whatever, I should:

a) spend some moretime on the stairmaster, as you did not workout yesterday or today, with all of this "helping other people crap"

OR.....

b) take the time to finally iron all of C's shirts for work.

At least I was good and had Lean Cuisine for dinner. It's chock full of additives, but it's less calories than if I would have made something (which I did NOT have the energy to do.) Baked fish with mmmmmmmmm....Malt Vinegar.

Holy Cow, He Just Might Be Onto Something Here!

So, yesterday, my brother sat me down and did his 3rd (or 4th?) AA step with me. Wow. I learned things about my brother I never knew. He really is a poor bastard. He took full responsibility for all of his wrongs, lies, deceitfulness, and I must say that I am incredibly proud!

When my brother is sober, he is the greatest guy in the world. In the past, when he has approached this step, he has turned to drinking. Now, he has almost finished this step with his whole family. He cried and shook throught the first half hour. It was an amazingly profound experience. It was a gift to receive such honesty- I don't know if I have ever been so honest with anyone in my life. He told me his whole life story, including everytime he hurt another person. Would you or I be ready to do this today? I am so supportive of him facing his battles, and I made a promise to actively support him...beyond the lipservice. I am supposed to meet him at the gym about noon. How cool is he!?!?!

Ooops- I just became obsessed

Have you ever had one of those problems that you know you did not create and yada yada yada, but you decide that you are going to fix it anyway through diligent action? Riiiiight. That's about what I've got goin' on.

My bigger issue is that I have obviously become content with my life, and therefore content with whatever face I present to the world. I was losing weight after getting off of the psycho drugs, but now I am simply ballooning up again. I am dressing sloppier and sloppier, with oh-so-little make up....I in essence, have stopped attracting my mate. I misspeake...I have stopped trying, and I am totally taking it for granted that he's as much of a sexaholic as I am! How he can be hot for me in my present pukey condition is beyond me. Maybe erections are made from pure love!

Is this a big deal to anyone else? I mean, not MY condition...I'm sure you don't care if I am a big fat ass, but are other women feeling the same thing?

So, I go on the net, hoping (this is sooo gay) to find a makeover calendar. You know, one day, I'll work on the eyebrows, and one day I'll get a bikini wax or something, and one day, I'll work on my haircolor, etc. Ummm...two problems....this is a stupid, pathetic idea, and also...I cannot find any. Now, that I have openly admitted that this idea is so sad it's borderline pathetic...I have decided to make my own!

If by any chance, anyone else is feeling this particular burn, please let me know as a damned support group for "dumpy-feeling-housewives-that-wish-to-turn-themselves-into-porn-stars-after-the-kids-are-tucked-in" would be nice!

The Bitch Is Back!!!!

I am so excited- I am finally back online and able to bitch through my favorite medium. I will blog tonight after my love heads out of town.