Sir, Please Step Away From the Prarie Dog...

My father, bless his little clogged and hardened heart, is the most fanatical racist I have ever seen. He actually told me that HIV came from a monkey (true), but that the (insert plural racial slur here) fucked the monkeys, thus passing on AIDS to the human population. Can you believe that? (freak) . Perhaps I misspoke and called the summer panic too early. Instead of the West Nile Virus, I fear the panic of the summer may be MonkeyPox. I just love saying it...it rolls off the tongue.

As I woke up to a monkeypox report the other day, I thought well....I don't own a prarie dog...I do not engage in intercourse with prarie dogs...I will live through the summer! It's all good, right? Then, I started wondering just how these prarie dogs contracted monkeypox. hmmmm...By golly...the monkeys fucked the prarie dogs! That's a crime against nature! It's against god's law....that's not right!