"When I Kiss You, I Taste What Other Men Had For Lunch"

That's an infamous Sam Kenison quote...if you are unfamiliar with it, I urge you to immediately re-think your entire existance. The reason those words popped into my head, is I have three nights away from my daughter...and each night I have a date. It feels odd to spread my attention so thin. But, I am doing everything differently nowdays, so why not romance, too? I have come to realize that I am really not looking for a relationship, I merely seeking companionship. I am leading a happy existance, and I really do not need a male counterpart to make it blissful. I used to tell Tripod that I never trusted people that were "wanting to get married"...what is so empty about your own life or self that you feel the need to drag someone else into it? I have come to believe that you find a person, and it goes so snifty that you find yourself wanting a relationship- with that person. Not, "I want a relationship, and boy- you fit." I guess that's how I used to do it, too.

I jokingly said to my mother that what I truly desire is "disposable companionship". Until I find someone so fabulous that I feel alone without them, I don't want to worry about it. I got a phone call today from C, and he says, "I want to go see the Matrix tonight...you want to go?" Woohoo. That's what I want. We are going together to talk, hang out, and watch a movie we both want to see. I am attracted to him, but he's not my boy...we have nothing in common. We like each other, though, and so it's cool. Sure, I want to be kissed in a way that makes my toes curl, but you just cannot make that sort of thing happen. So, I put it into the universe, and the universe can take care of that for me. I am swarmed with responses from Match- all men that I would like to go out with at least once...it's actually getting a little hard to keep track. I was wondering to myself, "How am I going to choose if I have to...What am I going to do with all of these men?" (That sounds soooo stupid, I know) And there it was...the evil voice in my head, "Fuck 'em all, and see which ones are left standing!" I won't do that of course, but I will have fun to the end. Life is too short.

So, tonight, I am at the Matrix with Chuck; and tomorrow, I am at the festival with Chris, and dinner on Monday with Patrick. I am going to make sure that the next couple of days, I remember my goddess-ness!