Pretty Ugly

I cut off my hair yesterday morning. My family was eating breakfast, and in the midst of my mascara application, I boldly reached for my shears, and SHA-ZAM! I whacked off between four to six inches. I had a long, golden mane; now I have a softer version of the eighties bob. I walked back downstairs and began to work without saying a word.

I thought my husband would hate it. Men love hair. Let’s face it. I have never known a man that doesn’t prefer long hair to short. I have received comments in the past (from men) about my hair choices, going long to medium…you’d think I had shaved myself bald, and obviously I was up for the awards of “suddenly gay” or “mentally incompetent”. My husband loves it. He just smiled…and I said….

“I’m sorry if you think I look like a bull dyke…(no offense to my bull dyke sisters…just not my best look). I am just soooo tired of men.” Madeline Kahn said it best in Blazing Saddles, “I’m tieh-yad”. Men seem to think if you are pretty, or they perceive you as such, they can speak to you in whatever sexual manner they wish. I have experienced this several times in the last few weeks, via email, on the phone, in person…”maybe I’ll just have you for lunch.”. It’s just crap. I was complaining about this to my email pen pal, and he says, “Well, you ARE so beautiful and sexy, I doubt he was able to control himself.” So the deal is, if I am found attractive, men cannot control themselves, and they will tell me so. It’s my fault, not theirs, and telling me is a way of forgoing responsibility, passing the blame onto me, and trying to wrap all that bullshit into something that, given I had the IQ of my living room curtains, I would accept as a compliment?

Maybe if I was 18, I would giggle and blush and take it personally. But, it’s not personal. It has nothing to do with the woman that I am. It’s merely some guy testing the waters for a random hummer, and it’s despicable. I am now thirty, and can see the game for exactly what it is. And if it takes shorter hair for me to be handed the basic respect of of a man or a homely girl, to recognize that I speak above my shoulders, then I am keeping my hair the way it is …..at least for a while.

And to those men that may find me frigid, or a prude….

The cable company called today to verify my service was working after another outage. When I explained that my cable television services were still not working, the gentleman said, “let me try to find your box…”. I burst into laughter, and eventually so did he. I love to flirt and joke, but I am not to be held responsible for anyone but myself.