I Married My Son! And I Don't Live in Arkansas!

Does every marriage experience some sort of seperation?

I read once that every married woman should have at least one old boyfriend she could always go back to, and one old boyfriend that she dreams of going back to. It sounds really shitty, but I think I get it. The first one is merely a reminder of how damn sexy we truly are, and the second one is for those moments when you wonder how in the world you are going to survive eternity in this partnership. Of course, at the time you are wondering that, there isn't much partnership, is there?

I am five and a half months pregnant, and my OB gives me more action than my husband. I dress up to see my regular doctor, just because he flirts with me shamelessly. I spend so much time alone with my children, I feel that I must have married them instead of my husband. Is this normal?

At first, (and still, to be honest) it really hit my self-esteem. But, I remember all of the goofy relationships I had before I settled down, and I can see with great hindsight that the majority of them were quacks. I always like to take the blame and beat myself up as a first resort! I am a hunting widow this season. Soon, the hunting and the Colts will merge into a different marital drought until baseball season returns, and I become a Cubs widow.

My husband thinks I am pissed because "he just wanted to spend a day hunting". Well, he is doing that today. And he did that last night. And one night last week. And three or four other times the month before that. Now, I am not supposed to complain, because he took care of the kids a couple of Fridays ago, and a couple of days when I was sick. Yeah, those were great days I spent lounging in my own phlegm. He goes to Mizzou twice a year to work and usually manages to hit the bar, has lunch with coworkers all of the time, and went on a big hunting trip last year, not to mention all of the other hunting he did in spurts last season and this one. Let's see....in the last six months I have gone out... with him one night drinking with our friend; I knitted a few hours with Sharon while he played Mommy; and I went to a Cubs game with his coworker and wife.

Woo- fucking- hoo. Is it wrong to "keep score"? Absolutely. But, I am certainly big enough to admit that I am doing it anyway.