Beautiful Woman Barely Escapes Assult With Catheter


Thank god it turns out that I was NOT exposed to any form of pox, but rather this little boy has a devestating reaction to mosquito bites. Woohoo. However, last night I nibbled on some strawberries while finishing a Michael Moore book. I then fell asleep watching a case on the Forensic Files regarding food poisoning. About 30 minutes later, I wake up in devestating pain. Guess what I had? Food poisoning. It was the kind that of violent illness where your body is so beyond your control, you are helpless and begging strangers to make it go away. I ended up at the hospital. By the time I was finally seen, I had endured my last round of torrential expulsion. The doc did a quick ultrasound, and baby boy was fine. He got really quiet and still while I was sick, but once my body fell back to my own control, he was back to beating the crap out of me- Yea! Good, strong boy! SO, at this point,I was feeling 90% better, and my body quieted down, and this fucking dense-but-gorgeous doc now wants to give me an IV (for hydration) and a catheter catch (to renounce the possibility of a UTI). Ummmm...UTI? I don't think so jack. I presented with violent vomiting and more shortly after ingesting the berries, no fever, no pain during urination, no increased frequency of urination (OK, how could one tell at my stage? I'll give him that one), and my symptoms were all but nill before you actually dragged that pretty arse in here. What screams Urinary Tract Infection to you?
Needless to say, I left the pretty doc to return home in the middle of the night, explaining that there was no indication for his course of treatment. What I needed was a liter of water and a long nap, not a large rubber tube up my urethra, as fun as that could have been and all.