Today's Rant: I Am Fabulous! and So Are You.


My roomie, S, and I were talking in line at "a popular fast food chain" the other night. She told me of this mutual friend of ours, and how this woman doesn't really like me. I could sense it, but I could never figure out why. She said that she was threatened by me. I laughed at first, but it appeared that S was serious. She said that she looked at me, "and the long, blonde hair, and the tiny waist, and the curves, and ugh...she was threatened." I found this ridiculous, but it does prove my theory of female competition. Regardless of what we look like, we can feel ugly. (I always felt like Alice the Goon).

S proceeded to tell me about how I am "EveryWoman, the whole package". I thought about this as we continued talking. I have so many different aspects to my personality, that I can "do it all"...I can play beach volleyball or just lay on the sand. I can waltz in a ballgown, or go stand in line to hear Ozzy. I can play Nightengale when you are sick, spackle your walls, texture your ceilings, and fake my way through cooking a meal....I can sip Glenmorangie at the top of the Hancock, rub shoulders with your bank VP, and woo your mother...I can rant about Blair, Bush, or Bernie Mac...I can wear the stockings, play the pinup, and blow your mind....I am the anal-retentive woman in the office, the star pupil, the devoted mother. I have the most outrageous sense of humor, and the sweetest sense of humility. I am as fragile as I am tough. Where I am I going with this, you ask?

...I simply looked at S and said, "But we all are."