Instead, I Choose Vodka....and Chaka Khan

In Bridget Jones' Diary, a movie that I can relate to oh-too-much, Brigdet finds her dazzling beau cheating on her with a beautiful, waifish American girl. She then reflects upon what her life could become, as she dies a lonely spinster, her corpse being eaten by dogs...and she refuses. She says something to the effect of, "No. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American insect. I choose not. Instead...I choose vodka....and Chaka Khan." This was, to me, a heaven-sent scene, along with perfect poetry. I remember this after each brutal love affair. Both of them. Heh.

SJ said that he was unsure of his decision as he ended it, that he thought he was making a mistake. Well....um....yeah. If you take into account how much I love him, and how much I thought he loved me, and all that we could have had if we had just wethered the storm a little...yep...mistake. I needed to go into that hospital, and sit, and quite honestly...to break. I am headed toward myself, my truest self, and feeling fine. However, I REFUSE to be with someone that is not sure about me. If there is one thing I know, as much as I can detest myself on some days (we all can)...I know what I am worth. If you cannot see that, well, by all means move on, baby. I am a woman to be strived for, not settled for.

It seems that Shiva and I have altered my course, and I can only trust that everything is for the best. So, I choose to rejoice.