I Suppose Even The Perfect Man Can Be A Dumb-Ass Once In A While

Friday night, my hub came home with a great idea- Let's go to Bandana's for BBQ. Cool. What hard working woman at 7months pregnant could possibly say no?
We were almost through with dinner when I happened to suddenly notice our waitress's ass. It was unusual. It was simply as though she had a nice ass, and then wore another one on top of it. It's wasn't misshapen, or what you would think of as a bubble-butt or ghetto booty; it looked like two equal assed layers....maybe somesort of ass-cake.
I couldn't help but point this out quietly to my hub, and then quickly felt ashamed. "Like I should talk. I should just staple the ribs to my hips." My hub, in a well-meaning effort (?), is lightening-fast to respond. "Well, you have an excuse."
My eyes enlarged to the size of my plate and I stared him down."I have an EXCUSE?" I was about to slit my wrists with my razor-sharp biased cut of garlic bread. Ummm...Do you ever want to have sex again?????? He could sense that he said something wrong. (?Hmmmmm?) He suddenly tried to cover his tracks, although laughing, "Baby, I said, 'Do you want to be excused?'" After tryng a few times to explain to him that this was definately not what he said, I leaned into him, and made it clear.."My dear, my hearing is not as bad as your judgement!"
I am 27 weeks pregnant. I, at my last check about 5 days ago, have gained 14 pounds. My buttocks are a little more plump, but most of my weight is truly in front of me- in my breasts (a full D-cup now) and my dearest baby boy. He alone now weighs about 2 of those pounds. Add even a measly 5 pounds for breasts, additional blood, water weight, placenta, and amniotic fluid (I am sure this must all be more than 5 ponds, but let's just go with it)...if you look at these numbers, I have gained about 7 fat pounds. Now, if we add that to my pre-preggo girth, I would be 132 pounds if I had merely eaten my way through Girl Scout Cookie Season... At 5'6, this would be a little chunky for my frame, but hardly obese.
Yes, I am defensive! You cannot tell an expecting anorexcic-bulimic that she has an EXCUSE TO BE FAT. The important thing for women to remember is no matter how wonderful the man in your life may be- no matter how educated, charming, devoted, or sensitive- men can still be ignorant fools that have no idea why they are in trouble.