Today's Rant: You, Too, Can Choose Not to Be a Pathetic MotherFucker...

I have a particular hatred and prejudice. No, it's not for those of a different religious belief or skin color. It's simply for pathetic people. You know these whiny bastards- chainsmoking and sitting every night with their external locus of control, clinging to some addiction and mentally pissing on themselves in a fetal position.

I listen to these people..."My mother beat me so I can't _____. My boyfirend spent all my money and I had to file for bankruptcy so I can't _____. I would like to _____, and be a worthwile, productive member of society, but I can't _____, because ______." Ugh. This is a mantra for these people! And everything is someone else's fault. Well, aren't you just the emotional equivalent of a T-Rex, dangling your useless arms in front of you, and roaring in anger as life passes you by!

You can build an entire resume of disasters and "I can'ts". But, please. Do me a favor. When you are done crying over yourself and your wounded inner child- please go to an AA meeting and hear the story of some guy that is cleaning up his life, making ten dollars an hour, and is in therapy to cope with the fact that his own uncle raped him and set him on fire. Now, that's some shit. You still feeling wounded and wronged by the world? Congratulations! You're a sociopath. Enjoy your new deskplate and title.

The fact is, we all have shit to cope with. I do; you do; so does the poor bastard living next door. Get over it. Chances are, you don't have the amazing trauma that you think you do. And, please, you sad little man, recognize the fact that it was probably your own lack of rational choices that caused your world to explode in the first place. Take some responsibility for that! Haven't you ever seen a physically wrenched paraplegic paint with his toes? Do you think he's on his teeny weeny pity pot? I can dial a phone with my toes, if need be, but I certainly cannot copy a Monet with any of my limbs.

Single mother? Wah. I have a friend that's a single mother who enjoys the adventure of numerous brain surgeries. That's stress. Single mother of two? Poor thing. She has three well-cared for children, and she wakes up every day looking at another cycle of living in constant, relentless pain. There is always someone out there that has it worse than you, so don't even try to run game.

Hate your job? It's the American way, my friend. Everyone does. Place your resume out on Monster and shut your pie hole. Can't get a date? I am sure there are people out there that are desperate and much uglier than you! Someone will say yes, eventually.Think of it as merely a numbers game. If that doesn't work, god gave you two hands. ( Unless you are that guy that paints with his feet! )

If you are one of these people, then please, get over yourself. If however, you need to cling to your misery like a newborn babe to a poisonous breast, give Darwinism a little push and kill yourself now. Really. However, let me give you one little tip to assist you in your profound decision: Life is one continuous kick in the teeth. That's the truth. The trick is to learn enough to cope and have a party between ass-kickings.